SERIOUSLY, SEC SEES NO HO-HO IN HOAX

The hoax Bloomberg news page that sent the stock of PairGain Technologies Inc. soaring on April 7 is no laughing matter to the Securities and Exchange Commission.

It filed a complaint in federal court in Los Angeles against Gary D. Hoke Jr., who, it asserts, made up the whole thing, starting with a message posted on the World Wide Web under an assumed name.

The posting said PairGain was about to be bought and provided a link to a thoroughly convincing page that was not the real Mike at all but fooled enough people long enough to move the market.

Mr. Hoke, if convicted, is in line for a fine, and perhaps the loss of his Internet service provider.

Daylight-trading time

* Just when you got used to daylight-saving time giving you a chance for nine holes after dinner, your friends at Nasdaq, after looking at trading data, have decided to add a 5-or-6-to-9 p.m. EDT session.

Richard Ketchum, president of the National Association of Securities Dealers, which runs the electronic market, says 20% of its orders from individual investors come after the 4 p.m. close.

The 9-to-5ers on the SEC have the final say. If their thumbs go up, nightside trading could start in midsummer.

The Big Board, by the way, is headed the other way, with a 5 a.m. (yawn) start skedded for June 2000. If it’s 5 in New York, it must be 10 in London.

Crash and split

* Charles Schwab Corp. announced a two-for-one stock split, sending its shares up past $120. Stockholders must approve the plan, Schwab’s seventh split since going public in 1987.

That’s about as many times as the company’s website has gone down this year. It bombed for the sixth time since the New Year’s baby first squealed: for 15 minutes around 11 a.m. EDT Wednesday. Things were slow for another hour or so, too, spokeswoman Tracey Gordon said.

Oh, the split. It’s scheduled to go into effect July 1 for stockholders as of June 1.

Bond bonding

* If politics makes strange bedfellows, the scent of money makes even stranger bond fellows.

Jon S. Corzine, the soon-to-be unemployed co-chairman of

Goldman Sachs Group LP, and John Meriwether, founding partner of Long-Term Capital Management LP, are reported to be talking about buying out the 14 rescuers – among them Goldman Sachs – who provided a $3.6 billion life

preserver for the hedge fund.

A decade or so ago, Mr. Corzine, who ran Goldman’s bond desk, and Mr. Meriwether, bond boss for what was then Salomon Brothers, were at each other’s throats.

Long-Term has made a 20% comeback since the bailout, and Mr. Corzine is in line for a bundle when he steps down after Goldman goes public this month, but where’s the rest of the money coming from? Bonds?

Phone phonies

* Be careful when you answer your phone.

The Federal Trade Commission has accused a Colorado couple, James J. and Regina L. Rapp, of duping banks and brokerages into giving them customers’ private financial dope and then selling it to all comers.

The complaint, filed in federal court in Denver, says workers for the Rapps’ company, Touch Tone Information Inc., would provide the fiduciaries with a real customer’s name, address, date of birth and Social Security number and then a sob story about losing a checkbook or the like to get more information.

Whoever buys the info then finds it a snap to open a credit card account in the client’s name.

Real Thai-slapper

* Lehman Brothers Holdings Inc. vice president Paul Dickson wrote a two-page apology to Thailand’s ambassador to the United Nations, expressing his regret over saying in a presentation to the world body that the former Siam “deserved” the Asian economic crisis.

What he really meant, he wrote, was that the crisis was “unavoidable.” Unlike his comment.